


The Pleasure Tester

by JinxedAmbitions



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Porn, Dildos, Explicit Sexual Content, I seem to love putting Hux in a lab coat, M/M, Masturbation, Other, Panties, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Toys, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 18:43:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9338048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JinxedAmbitions/pseuds/JinxedAmbitions
Summary: Kylo gets home from a long day at work, and he needs something to wind down to.  So, he looks for some porn to watch.  He finds 'The Pleasure Tester,' a ginger in a lab coat who claims to test different sex toys. It shouldn't be sex, but Kylo finds himself aroused and unable to look away.  All data points to Hux being just what the answer to a long day.Written for the Kyluxhardkinks prompt: Hux is a sex toy tester with his own cam channel. Kylo stumbles across it one day and is utterly baffled by his reaction to this prim and proper mystery man giving clinical descriptions of a sex toys effectiveness. He times his orgasms and rates them based on a heart monitor. He also measures his ejaculate with exacting accuracy. None of that should be sexy right? So why can't Kylo jack it to anything else any more?





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, I really liked this prompt and figured I'd give it a shot.

Kylo slammed the door to his room.  It had been a long day.  His shoulders drooped from hours of standing up straight.  He’d never let anyone see him like this, but in the safety of his own home, he could indulge.  There was no one here to see the weight of the day weighing him down, so it was safe to relax if only just a little.

His only other indulgence was resting on his bedspread.  The high-end laptop was worth the price tag.  After long hours of work, he was wound up and anxious.  Meditation only worked so well when he needed something for his hands and body to do.  Sitting in quiet reflection just made the itch worse some nights.

So, he’d purchased a new laptop and quickly gotten himself a few subscriptions to various porn/cam sites.  Masturbation was just active enough to sate his body’s need to move while being mindless enough to relax him for sleep.  It wasn’t anything revolutionary, but it did the trick, and Kylo was just happy he was getting to sleep before dawn these days.

Removing his shirt, Kylo walked across the room.  He unbuckled his belt and bent over to unlace his boots before sitting down on the bed beside his laptop.  He toed off his boots and laid back as the computer booted up.  

Staring up at this ceiling, Kylo tried to decide what he was in the mood for.  Usually when work was this exhausting, he liked something more hardcore.  A little flogging, spanking, or a camboy that really knew how to split himself on something as wide as Kylo’s fist.  Tonight though, Kylo didn’t know what he wanted.  Mostly he wanted several aspirin and about twelve hours of rest, but he needed something to wear him out.  If he didn’t, his racing thoughts would keep him up half the night.

Kylo propped himself back in the pile of pillows he’d amassed over the years and rested his laptop on his lap.  He opened the browser and went to his favorites.  He picked one at random, not wanting to think too much about what he’d be watching because then he’d never make a decision.

He clicked on a cam site that he’d joined but rarely watched.  He found that despite the site’s description, most of the camboys were rather boring.  They did a lot of posing for the camera and exaggerated moans and movements.  It was like watching porn by someone who’d only heard about what porn was like, so they went even bigger than the most obnoxious stereotypes.  Kylo supposed there was a market for that because all of the streams and links had tons of views.  It also didn’t hurt that the videos themselves tended to be higher quality than a lot.  They had good lighting and weren’t grainy.  They looked professional even if it was just one camera focused on the performer.

Kylo looked through the front page.  One of the performers that he could stand had posted a new video.  Mitaka was perhaps the least ‘out there’ performer the site had.  He was almost shy as he would slowly strip then bring himself off.  Kylo had only clicked on his video the first time because he could suck his own cock, which was always worth a watch in Kylo’s book.  He watched the rest of Mitaka’s videos because he was into autoerotic asphyxiation, and Kylo found it incredibly hot.

Kylo wasn’t in the mood for shy tonight though.  He may not want to watch exaggerated moaning, but he wanted someone who was sure of himself.  Someone who knew exactly how to get himself off because Kylo himself wasn’t entirely sure tonight.

He scrolled past some of the more obnoxious camboys, knowing what he didn’t want even if he couldn’t pinpoint what he did.  As he was getting farther down the page, he was getting fed up with himself and considered choosing another site.

Instead, he clicked on a channel he’d never watched before.  The Pleasure Tester sounded innocuous enough.  The channel was full of videos, and as Kylo scrolled through the titles, he realized that the person really just tested sex toys.

However, while that sounded rather boring, some of the toys looked downright frightening.  All of the videos had a picture of the toy that would be tested as their thumbnails, so all Kylo had to go on was the toy instead of the performer.  He assumed the performer’s name was Hux based on the video descriptions, but not a single one showed him in the thumbnail.

Kylo’s interest was piqued.  Maybe it wasn’t what he was looking for, but a guy who tested toys for a cam site probably knew what he was about.  It was worth a shot.

Glancing at the array of videos from vibrating cock rings to fantasy dildoes, Kylo opted for something in the middle.  He wasn’t sure he was ready to watch a man experience an alien ovipositor dildo in sparkling blue.  He also didn’t need to see a video on a fleshlight, no matter how many bells and whistles it had.  Those tended to be the least interesting videos available.

Kylo clicked on one that displayed a fairly large looking black dildo.  The caption explained that the dildo also functioned as a vibrator and “Hux” would be evaluating both functions for his viewers.  

From the start, this video wasn’t anything like the other cam shows.  This one seemed to have a budget.  Instead of someone’s bedroom, this actually looked like a set or a laboratory.

There was a table with instruments on it.  Another table housed the black dildo in question.  There was a chair one might find in old classrooms, metal and composite.  There was also a stool beside it.  

Kylo pressed play and watched as a man in a lab coat walked into the frame.  He had ginger hair and a serious expression on his face.  He wore a pair of black rimmed glasses and despite the bulk of the lab coat, he seemed quite drawn.  

“Good evening,” the performer said in a very crisp British accent.  “Welcome back regular viewers, and welcome to new viewers.  My name is Hux, and I am the Pleasure Tester.”  He stood between the chair and the stool, and he held his hands behind his back as he addressed the viewer.

Kylo wasn’t sure about the presentation, but he couldn’t look away from the man.  He just drew the eye and wouldn’t let go.

“Today, I will be testing the Analator vibrating dildo in matte black.  The Analator also comes in pink, turquoise, and three varieties of flesh tone.  Batteries are required and are not included with the purchase.  The Analator can be found at the links provided in the description for this video. As always, I am not being compensated for positive reviews of this product.  This review only reflects my findings based on the protocol I have set out,” Hux said, standing impossibly still as he spoke.  

It was like being at the doctor’s office.  Everything was explained clinically and without any emotion behind it.  Yet, Kylo couldn’t click out of it.  The man’s voice and demeanor were soothing despite how austere they were.

“Today I will be measuring the time it takes to achieve orgasm, the strength of that orgasm based on heart rate during the event as well as the time it takes to reach my baseline again.  I will be measuring the ejaculate as well as any aftershocks.  Aftershocks are measured by intensity as well as the time between them.  Let us begin,” he said, turning immediately and walking to the table that held the instruments.

First, Hux lifted up a cuff and wrapped it around his arm after rolling up his sleeve.  He looked at the camera as he began to pump up the cuff.  Then he pressed a stethoscope to his ears and the diaphragm beneath the cuff and measured his blood pressure.  

“Blood pressure is 108 over 67.  My heart rate is…” he paused glancing at a monitor he had attached to his wrist, and Kylo couldn’t believe his own cock twitched. “Sixty-five beats per minute.”

Hux looked up into the camera as his vitals appeared in neat text on the bottom of the screen.  “When masturbating without any aid I average eight minutes before I orgasm.  When using the average six in marital aid, I average just under six.”

These statistics appeared on the screen as well before disappearing.  Kylo frowned at the almost educational nature of the video, but the man’s voice was enough to keep Kylo from clicking out.  Even if this was the weirdest porn he’d ever watched—and Kylo had watched some weird things—it was making him hard.  He found himself wondering what was underneath that lab coat and whether this man kept his composure even when impaled by a monstrous dildo.

“Are you ready to see how the Analator measures up?” Hux asked the camera, and Kylo found himself muttering ‘yes’ under his breath as he stroked himself through his briefs.  “I knew you would be.  If you have the Analator at home with you, I am always interested to hear how your experience measures up.”

Kylo snorted imagining people fucking themselves along to Hux and comparing data.

Hux lifted a pair of gloves off the table.  He pulled the black gloves on with a snap before walking over to the dildo and lifting it up.  He brought it over to the chair and placed it on the seat.  He used the remote to test that the vibrator was functional, and Kylo’s cock twitched as the toy shook.  Hux turned it off again, and then he went back to the table and removed several instruments.  He placed those on the stool.  

“Take off your undergarments.  There is nothing sexy about a mess,” Hux told his audience.  His gloved hands reached for the bottom of the lab coat, and the camera zoomed out just enough to reveal Hux’s feet which were covered by sharp looking shoes.  

Hux undid the bottom snap of his lab coat then slowly opened the next.  With care, each snap was undone before Hux pulled the coat open.

Kylo’s breath caught as Hux’s legs were revealed first.  Hux wasn’t wearing pants.  Instead, he had argyle socks that were attached to garters just below his knees.  His pale legs seemed to stretch forever as he parted the coat a little at a time.  

As Hux revealed the tops of his legs, Kylo caught a flash of black and red lace.  Kylo tugged his cock out of his underwear, rearranging himself to be able to watch the video while comfortably reclining.  He gave his full cock a couple firm strokes as Hux finally revealed the delicate lace panties he was wearing beneath his lab coat.

Kylo cursed as he watched the outline of Hux’s cock tucked inside the thin lace.  He wanted to see it without the lace, but watching it slowly grow inside its confines was incredibly arousing.  

Hux was so controlled, as though he’d studied every action and everything he did was with the purpose of arousing his audience the most with the least effort.  Kylo had never wanted to feel like a test subject during sex, but he had to admit this was driving him to distraction.  His miserable day at work was the furthest thing from his mind as Hux slid the lab coat off his thin shoulders and hung it on the back of the chair.

Kylo’s breath came in short and shaky pants as he studied Hux’s lean body.  There was no excessive muscle to weigh him down.  He was lithe like a cat and just as lethal. His skin was so pale that even the lightest flush was fully visible, and the soft pink of it was just as arousing as the panties.

Hux stood there in just his shoes, socks and garters, panties, gloves, and glasses.  It should have been an odd sight, but Kylo had to grip the base of his cock to keep himself in control.  

“As always, I have prepared myself thoroughly for today’s experiment,” Hux said, turning away from the camera and bending over the chair to reveal his dripping hole.

Kylo groaned, stroking himself roughly as he watched Hux spread his lace covered cheeks to showcase both the hole in the ass of the panties as well as his prepped ass.  Kylo bit his bottom him as Hux dipped two gloved fingers into his ass then spread them to show just how loose he was.

“Proper preparation is key,” Hux lectured, and Kylo found himself nodding as he reached into his bedside drawer and pulled out the bottle of lotion he’d thrown in there.  He pumped some onto his hand as Hux situated himself over the dildo with his back still to the audience to give them a full view of initial penetration.

Hux reached over to the stool and lifted a stopwatch off of it.  “Take yourself in hand.  Time begins now,” Hux said, clicking the watch and placing it back on the stool.  A timer appeared on the bottom of the screen, counting up as Hux began to lower himself to the large black dildo.

Kylo moaned loudly as Hux used his hands to spread his cheeks again as he lowered himself to the dildo.  The camera zoomed in just enough that Kylo could clearly see the way the blunt head of the dildo parted Hux and stretched him despite the thorough preparation.

Hux was steady as he brought his body down, taking the thick dildo without too much trouble.  He paused briefly here and there, but nothing about his posture said that this was hard for him or painful.

This alone had Kylo gripping himself tightly in his lotion slick hand.  He bucked his hips into his fist imagining Hux sinking onto his own impressive girth.

“Forty-nine seconds to fully seat myself,” Hux said as he reached the bottom of the dildo which was the thickest part.  Kylo’s mouth watered at the strength it clearly took to hold himself in that position while he was practically split in two by the width of the toy.  

Hux slowly rose from the dildo and turned around to face the camera again before lowering himself back down.  He straddled the chair, and it should’ve looked ridiculous between the panties and the black and red argyle socks, but it was the hottest thing Kylo had seen in ages.   Hux’s cock was completely hard now and while his testicles were tightly secured in the lace, his cock was out of it and standing proud pointing to his navel.  He was uncut, but his foreskin retracted to reveal the head when he was hard.  

Kylo wanted to put his lips around that pink, dripping head. He wanted to see if he could make Hux come undone.

“First discharge at 1:11,” Hux said, using his right index finger to collect the drop of precome from his cock.  

Kylo made a strangled noise as Hux brought it to his lips, and his tongue poked out to lap it up.  Kylo had to clamp down on the base of his cock as he felt himself teetering on the edge already.  The bar at the bottom of the video claimed there were still seven minutes left, and he didn’t want to come until he saw Hux wrecked on that dildo.

Hux began to ride the dildo slowly.  He didn’t go all the way down each time, instead he varied the depth and angle with each rise and fall.  The heart monitor on the bottom of the screen steadily rose as Hux increased his speed.  

Somehow this clinical setting and Hux’s demeanor were making Kylo more aroused than he’d been in months.  He didn’t know what it was exactly, but he didn’t even need to touch himself right now to be twitching and dripping precome.

Hux spoke as he rode the synthetic cock.  Mostly he noted his vitals or at what time he reached certain markers, but he also spoke to his audience.

“Make sure you are steadily building. I don’t want you going easy on yourself to cook the numbers. I want natural progression for the best findings,” Hux said at one point.  Kylo forced himself to build his speed then, wanting to make the man happy.  

“If you are using your own aid, begin to stroke yourself once you’ve established a rhythm,” Hux ordered, reaching over and taking a pump of lubricant from the bottle on the stool.

Kylo arched off the bed as he watched Hux’s lean fingers wrapped around his cock.  He took one slow stroke as he continued to ride the dildo, running his thumb over the head and also teasing the foreskin before working into a rhythm.

“If you are using your hands, begin to touch your ass if you enjoy that,” Hux ordered, riding the dildo like it was the most natural thing in the world.  It felt like Kylo was taking a yoga or zumba class where he felt hopeless, but the instructor hadn’t even broken a sweat as they gave steady directions.

Panting hard, Kylo reached between in legs and teased his ass.  He doubted he was going to last much longer.  His whole body was humming with pleasure.  Even his scalp was tingling as he watched Hux bouncing up and down on the massive cock.

“I will now be engaging the vibrating function,” Hux informed the audience as he stroked himself with one hand.  He used the other to lift the remote off the chair and turn the vibrator on.  He made a soft sound of surprise before his back arched in pleasure.

Kylo whimpered, biting his lip as he watched Hux adjust the vibrator’s settings.  He watched as each setting affected Hux until he eventually found the one he wanted.  His breathing was shaky as he continued to ride the toy.

The squelch of each thrust was maddening to Kylo as he watched lubricant trickle down the base of the Analator vibrating dildo in lube covered matte black. Kylo had to close his eyes as he fucked his fist faster.  He wanted this to last, but he didn’t want to go against Hux’s request.

Kylo’s eyes snapped open as Hux released a heady moan.  His eyes were glued to the screen as Hux’s rhythm began to falter.  The muscles in Hux’s legs spasmed as he sank all the way onto the massive toy.

Hux reached up and ran his gloved fingers through his perfectly styled hair, leaving it in disarray and skewing his glasses.  

“There it is.  Yes…” Hux panted, muttering dirt little encouragements—whether to himself or the audience was anyone’s guess, but Kylo enjoyed imagining him encouraging himself—as he used his free hand to grip the stool to steady himself.  “Getting close,” he gasped, sinking deeply onto the dildo then pushing himself right back up.

Kylo gripped his cock hard, digging the nails of his other hand into his thigh.  He breathed raggedly, listening to every accented word Hux said.  He whimpered as Hux threw his head back, clearly enjoying himself.  Hux didn’t hold in his cries as he arched his back, mouth wide in a vision of uninhibited pleasure.

Hux moved erratically, and Kylo thought he could see the didlo pressing up against his belly on the deepest movements.  Hux stroked his cock quickly, providing stimulation but not teasing himself.  This was all about the thing he was riding.

“I’m there,” Hux gasped, reaching over to the stool as he continued to rise and fall.  He grabbed something similar to a graduated cylinder and brought it to his cock.  He stopped stroking himself and held his cock to the opening of the instrument.

Hux cried out, and Kylo watched his balls tighten behind the lace curtain.  He could even see his come fill the graduated cylinder in spurts as Hux continued to ride the dildo.

Kylo’s own body tightened and come painted his belly as he shook with his release.  He tried to keep his eyes open even as his whole body shuddered, not wanting to miss a moment of Hux.

Collapsing back against the pillows, Kylo watched Hux catch the last drop of come with the cylinder and place it on the stool again.  The screen read that orgasm was achieved at 5:43, and it was sustained for 21.03 seconds.  

Hux’s heat rate was still displayed on the screen as was a counter that tracked aftershocks.  Hux himself was seated fully on the dildo, looking completely wrecked as it still vibrated inside him.  His hair was standing up in spots and there was lube in it from where he accidently touched it with the wrong hand.  His glasses were perched on the end of his nose at a ridiculous angle.  His chest was heaving, and his legs were shaking.

Kylo usually turned videos off once he came, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away as Hux turned off the toy, releasing a soft sigh.  He slowly rose from the toy, clearly straining to engage his muscles.  He held it steady with one hand as he pulled off of it, the aftershock counter rising to five as he had to pause several times before freeing himself completely.

A string of lubricant connected him to the dildo as he pulled away, and Kylo felt his cock give another desperate pulse at the sight.  

Hux stood on shaky legs, stepping away from the chair.  He turned around and presented himself to the camera.  Using one arm to support himself, he reached behind himself again and spread his cheeks. The panties were torn from the width of the dildo.  The fabric hung open, and it was filthy but arousing. His hole was puffy and covered in thick lubricant that oozed out of him.  He took two fingers and pressed them inside, moaning as he separated them.  His legs nearly gave out as he removed them.

“Let’s analyze at the data,” Hux said, straightening up and pulling the lab coat back on.  He removed his gloves carefully before disposing of them.

Kylo bit his lip as Hux fastened the snaps again, slowly taking away the view of his beautiful body and the rose color of his skin. Finally, he reached up and adjusted his glasses again, and Kylo’s body gave another little shudder.  As he was finishing up a beep went off, and on the bottom of the screen it showed that his heart rate had gone back down near his resting rate.

“Compare how your numbers measure up.  My heart rate reached 122 beats per minute,” he said, taking the blood pressure cuff and measuring that again. “Blood pressure post orgasm is 153 over 66.  Ejaculate came in a three burst cycle filling the cylinder with 4.1 milliliters and six aftershocks varying in intensity were achieved.”

Kylo didn’t know why listening to Hux talk about his spunk was so arousing, but Kylo’s whole body was still very turned on even if his cock was lying spent against his thigh.

“The Analator is far from a novice toy.  Raw data ranks it in the top ten percent of devices I’ve tested.  However, the product’s girth inhibits it a bit as it requires extensive preparation and lengthy recovery time.  This is not the product to use before running errands.  This requires several hours allotted to the entire production which lowers the overall score.  I rate the Analator a 7.4 out of 10.  Let me know if you agree.  As always, I look forward to hearing the data you have collected as well.  Next time, I will be testing a set of sounds recommended by a viewer.  Stay tuned for a preview.  Until next time, stay pleasured,” Hux signed off.

Kylo didn’t click out, instead waiting as the preview of the next video played, showing Hux on a medical table with legs in stirrups and back propped up to put his cock on full display.  He held up a metal bar and circled it around the head of his cock.

“Fuck,” Kylo cursed as the video ended.  He bit his lip and gave his cock a soft tug.  He wished refractory periods weren’t a thing because he wanted to watch another one of the strangely arousing videos.

Kylo got out of bed and went into the bathroom.  He rinsed off in the shower, cleaning his own release off of him as he imagined Hux taking his cock while measuring both of the heart rates.  He imagined Hux critiquing him as he built a rhythm, stopping in the middle of the act to measure his size.  Kylo cursed as he thought about Hux bending forward afterward and having Kylo press two fingers inside him to show just how fucked out he was.

By the time Kylo stepped out of the shower, he was half hard again.  He got ready for bed, still thinking about Hux’s video.  The site was still open when he returned to bed, and he thought about watching another.  There were all sorts of toys that Hux tested.  

Instead of watching a full video, he went through the 20-30 second previews.  He watched Hux explain an elaborate cock ring.  He watched him demonstrate how the ovipositor worked, and Kylo promised himself he’d watch that video later.

When he’d exhausted the previews, Kylo put his laptop on the desk in his room and laid back down.  He thought about the no nonsense man in the video and how sexy his clinical approach to pleasure was.  Yet, he still rode the toy with abandon and came completely undone by it.

Kylo groaned at the thought of Hux being that way in bed with him.  He drifted off to thoughts of Hux ordering him to remove his undergarments and place a towel down so as not to make a mess, and of him milking Kylo’s prostate as he held the cylinder to Kylo’s cock to measure his ejaculate.  

Kylo fell asleep promising himself that he’d buy some of the toys Hux tested, so he could play along to the video next time.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a one shot, but I might consider doing a follow up or two if I have time. I kinda want to write Kylo testing a product along at home or the ovipositor.


End file.
